Updated: Dec 18, 2022
Answer this question to discover if your resolution is the right one, for the wrong reason
So you say this year you want to be better, faster, stronger, healthier, wealthier, wiser, all around better, or anything but, the person you are now.
And this year will be THE year, you will make it happen.
Sound like last year? The one before? The 5 before those?
There's a reason why that's the case for ALL OF US.
Making New Year's resolutions is a pastime enjoyed the world over -
Across cultures and continents, we welcome an invitation to transform into an improved version of ourselves, in the hopes that it will lead us to happiness.
But in a time when so much value is placed on other people's opinions of us, many of us pursue self-development not for the self, but for others.
We find ourselves doing the right thing (becoming better versions of ourselves), for the wrong reason (other people's approval).
Ask yourself this question to explore if this might be the case for you, and what to do instead.
What lies beneath the like?
Do you consider the things you don't like about yourself an indicator of your own 'high standards'?
Is not liking yourself a virtue?
Do you let the things you don't like about yourself keep you from being happy?
Take an example of a fitness goal.
Maybe you say you don't like your body, and you want to lose weight.
You want to find love, and you think that losing weight will give you the confidence to put yourself 'out there' more.
Maybe this goal has been your New Years' Resolution for several years in a row.
So why haven't you accomplished your goal of losing weight?
If you believe that life will be much better and you will find love once this happens, what's gotten in your way?
Because not liking yourself is easier.
It's easier to blame our weight on not putting ourselves out there.
It's easier for us to not like ourselves than face the pain of being rejected or disliked by someone else.
By not liking ourselves it's easier to accept our dissatisfaction with our relationship status and unhappiness in our life.
Do this instead...
So what should we do instead?
Ask: "Do I like myself? Do I accept myself completely? (The 'today' version, not the 'tomorrow' version).
In the example of wanting to lose weight - we should ask ourselves:
Who am I losing weight for? Is it for myself? Is it for someone else?
Then if you want to hit the gym, change your diet, and lose weight - go for it!
And don't wait to put yourself out there and FIND LOVE!
Because you are 'enough' as you are and there are no 'conditions' you have to meet to be happy.
Being happy isn't reserved for a certain 'type' of person, for those of a certain weight, or even those in relationships.
If you find yourself not 'there' yet, on the path to 'self-love' - then try taking small steps towards 'self-like'.
Reframe your resolutions for your pleasure.
Ex. I want to lose weight because I like who I am and am becoming and I want to be healthy and live as long as I can to find out what else I can do!
Whether your New Year resolves to lose weight, or something else, becoming a better version of the person you are today is a good thing!
But what's even better? Liking the version of you, that you are today - no matter what tomorrow brings.
Comment below, and tell me what you think.
And Happy New Year!